Lubricant is supposed to make sex more comfortable, pleasurable, and less likely to cause friction-related irritation. Used correctly, it can also help reduce the chance of a condom tearing. Used incorrectly, however, it can quietly compromise the protection you thought you had. The problem is not lubricant itself. The problem is compatibility—and one common mistake matters more than any other.

Erectile dysfunction can involve blood flow, nerve function, hormones, medication, stress, sexual pressure, relationship dynamics, or several of these factors at once. Treating it as nothing more than a performance problem misses the larger—and often more treatable—picture.