Beginner's Guide to Tantric Sex

While most people have heard of tantric sex it can seem bizarre or even impossible to the most who haven’t spoken with someone who practices it, and while you may know that it has incredible benefits for both your relationship's connection, strength, and depth it also has AAAAmmmazing benefits to help with the BIG “O.”

Ok grab some tea and get ready because I promise, you don't want to miss this!

Tantra is a practice that brings spirituality into the act of love-making in order to unite body, mind and soul. While traditional sex is pretty linear—the goal is to climax and the rest is just a bonus—you'll find that tantra teaches you to resist climax and instead find a deep connection between your body and emotions, particularly as they relate to your partner.

That said, the more you practice, the more you may be able to reach a level of 'prolonged orgasm.' It’s similar to having multiple orgasms, but instead of hitting the highs and lows with every round, you’ll feel peak sexual pleasure for several minutes without ever experiencing a traditional orgasm. Simply put, it puts the 'O' in Om and what some have called the “24 hour Orgasm.”

Is tantric sex for you? If you say yes to any of these wishes, it may be time to give this ancient practice a go.

• Reconnect emotionally with your partner

• Become more in tune with your own body

• Slow down your normal sexual experiences for more pleasure

• Try something new between the sheets

If you're ready to dive in, here are the basic steps to exploring tantra and finding your most intense orgasm yet.

We all understand the need for a quickie now and again, especially the parents out there, but sometimes we all need more. It’s time to turn up the heat and get out of the routine. Set the mood. Get out the candles. Break out some oils. Create the right atmosphere. Most importantly…set your mood, but STAY OFF THE BED; that just increases our urge to sleep, and that is not the point. Set your intentions from the get go, remove the clothing. Enjoy this part together. Maybe watch one another, taking a moment to take in your partner’s body visually, get the internal fires going.

This is HUGE for women, our level of pleasure depends greatly on our level of relaxation. Allow yourself to sink into the moment and truly connect to it. Relax your muscles, trust your body’s responses and your partner’s ability to give you pleasure, open yourself up to what will likely be a powerful experience.

Start your session by sitting on your partner’s lap with legs wrapped around his lower back. (like in the image above)

Wrap your arms around his shoulders and bring him in tight, recognizing all your senses. Breathe in his scent, feel his skin, and look at him. Connect your senses.

This isn’t time for wandering hands, or intense kissing…not yet! Some couples tend to jump right in and have started to utilize this exercise to slow down and listen to one another’s bodies. Use it to challenge yourself to reach new sexual heights and pull you out of your routine.

It’s been said that the eyes are the window to the soul, this is a time to test that theory. Lock eyes, yes it’s ok if you giggle or even laugh at first, but try not to. This is probably the most challenging part of the exercise because we don’t want a stare down contest, but we don’t want to laugh either…it gets easier, don’t give up. Slow your breathing. Pay attention to your senses and SEE ONE ANOTHER.

Breath is the root of tantric sex as if forces you to slow down and truly connect with your partner. For an incredibly intense sensual and emotional experience, practice matching your breathing while keeping the eye contact strong.

Once you're in sync, move on to exchanging breaths in opposite cycles. When he inhales, you exhale from here, and vice versa.

So this relaxing little action for as long as you feel comfortable, then work in kissing and light touching. LIGHT. TOUCHING.

Take the time to find all of your and your partner's "on" buttons. Instead of going straight for the well-known ~sexual~ zones, bring in some oil and explore every part of your bodies together.

Inconspicuous areas like the ears, neck, legs and feet are often the most sensitive spots on your bod, so make sure to touch and be touched as much as you can handle. Now's the time to figure out which areas have you absolutely vibrating before you get it on!

Some couples opt not to engage in intercourse at all during a tantric experience, but most of the time if my couples have made it this far they are amped and ready to go...

This is where you start to spice things up with new, unique positions meant to slow you down and strengthen your level of closeness. With these positions, you’ll be able to tune into your sexual range like never before, so you’ll get a strong sense of what feels best for your body and helps you feel connected to your partner.

Here are two to get you started.

The G-Force

Lie on your back in a balled position with your knees close to your chest. He should kneel in front of you, grabbing your feet, then enter you. For a more advanced version, put your feet on his chest and have him hold on to your hips for extra control and a deeper reach!

Get Down On It

"Help your partner get comfortable in the traditional lotus position, with his legs crossed and each of his heels atop the opposite knee. Facing him, sit in his lap and mount him, with your legs wrapped snugly around his waist. Embrace each other and lock lips with a shared breath, so that as you exhale your guy inhales and vice versa. As you breathe in, rock your pelvis back and tighten your vaginal muscles. As you exhale, rock your pelvis forward and release. Your guy should mirror your movements." (via cosmo)

You can check out 8 easy Tantric positions Cosmo recommends here .

Remember, the point of tantra is NOT to climax, though it may seem impossible. I know you are probably asking yourself, "what in the f**k?!" But this is about connection on a deeper level. So try and slow your breathing down as you approach orgasm. Most women breathe more quickly as they feel themselves peaking and tense up trying to bring the orgasm on, try relaxing your tummy, and taking slow deep breaths into your stomach, the orgasm will last longer and be more intense.

If you can't resist orgasm (which is likely), that's okay; just let yourself calm back down and begin the process again.

Once you get more advanced in your tantra practice, you should start to notice different effects it can have on you physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. These little bonuses include more energy, more vivid dreams, increased creativity, a higher vibration that will attract new people into your life.

I have heard people say, "once I truly committed to my practice people said they were just "drawn to me."

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